do you believe in rapture, babe?

****I made just enough money yesterday during the hurricane rains to buy my old man two high life after work, get some chinese food and purchase the new sonic youth. drinks food and music. the real stuff this miserable happy life is made of.****

i always get the new sonic youth as they never disappoint me. there are many things in life that do. indie rock, thiftstore fashion, the emergence of crafting.....my newly reforming love for flannel and baggy jeans could be a sign of indie rock escaping me and an all out return to the self of yesterday (or age and laziness who knows?). it was all bound to happen sometime. i am not saying the high life isnt still for me, i just think my bangs need to stay out of my eyes and i need to be a tad less angst-ridden lest someone think i am off my medication. of course, i have no medication to be off of. i've no patience with indie rock, such a stupid fucking term, by the way...i told someone who doubted my memory about a show last year to revoke my indie card and slap me with it, then the obvious duke student apologized for his misguided arrogance, perhaps he was mistaken he said to the bartender who was playing iggy pop who is also me, the bartender said, i really dont care. and i didnt.... yesterday playing tv on the radio, the least obscure band i can think of, a girl at the bar who was wearing mom shorts and drinking a can of dr pepper she did not purchase at my bar said, tv on the raideeooo? and i said, yes. and she stuck up her thumbs at me and asked if had seen them last week ( you know, opening for nine inch nails ) and i said, no, but i did see them in london a few weeks earlier and i couldnt even feel superior about my obvious points. she then said she hope they get the following they deserve, i returned to rolling silverware and she returned to the world cup and i silently prayed for liza minelli to come on so she wouldnt try to talk to me again. life is a cabaret old chums...and i love a cabaret....

***i hate everything but the girl. waiting tables can be enough of a drag without having to listen to shitty music. i feel bad...sometimes for subjecting coworkers to endless clash and jawbreaker and rolling stones tunes, but seriously, i cannot be the only person that is near driven by sound of the utz-utz-utz and girl vocals to pulling my own spine out of my neck. i can never seem to recover my good mood once it has been ruined by cheap beats. and then i hate everyone. i dont care if your drink is all ice or if your burger doesnt have the bacon you ordered. all life is meaningless to me until the 40 minute cd is over and something else, dear god, anything else comes on.