lunch shift be damned.

Typically, i work at night. i dont get out much in the day. My typical work night ends someplace between midnight and 4am. I usually spend my day drinking coffee and watching the hipsters walk to the busstop in front of my porch while wondering what need they have for jihad scarves in the middle of the 100 degree afternoon.
So, when the daytime bartender goes on vacation i have to rediscover the alarm clock and haul my ass in at the ungodly hour of 10am. One thing that i have forgotten about the "real world" is the fact that there are a multitude of words that i now longer need in my life. Concise, organizational chart, ducks, row, dot i's/cross t's... etc....
i walk pass these tables, fill their soft beverages and listen to them speak to each other emphatic, concerned, worried, defiant, ready to quit, ready to promote, all climbing on top and around each other and i am so HAPPY to not have to do it anymore that i seperate their $8 checks and pocket their $.75 tips with outright GLEE.

but on another note...i didnt know what the soup of the day was today. see, yesterday the beer buyer/weekend bartender was in during the day making calls and bitching about the owners and shitty schedules and we decided that it would be fun to go out while its daylight. except daylight in the south lasts a LONG time. and even with a break for burritos 1 am came surprisingly quick. not as quick as 9am did, though.

so, i get the bar set up, and i am so attractive, as you can imagine, not a note of puffiness or odor of whiskey about me...and OF COURSE the suits are READY for lunch at the clock strike of 11am and i still have wutang clan playing in a vain effort to get my ass moving and dude asks what the soup of the day is....

Typically that shit is written down somewhere and someone who has been there all day tells me this information when i come in at 6pm.......

i shrug and walk at the only pace i can muster to the kitchen and back.
"today we have a chilled asparagus and sweet potato soup."
he then asks me if IT IS GOOD.
i mean, two seconds ago i didnt know what it WAS, so how on gods earth would i have an opinion of it????? I assure him its a fine soup and he just stares at me.

sorry sir, i say, i am not really a morning person.

"young lady, i will have you know it is dangerously close to afternoon"

now, is this a threat? or a warning? i have no idea.

he orders the soup and an unsweet tea and he and the rest of his party spread out papers and get down to BUSINESS.

jesus takes mercy on my pounding head and i have only 4 tables all day. i made $20. tomorrow i am back safely behind the bar. less work, more money and not a damned expectation of efficiency whatsoever....